2+1=Outnumbered
I was re-reading old blogs this week from 2007-2008. There was the blogs from pre-pregnancy to finding out we were having a baby girl all the way to bringing her home and the first few months that followed. It was quite an interesting trip down memory lane. One thing that I did recognize was the fact that during a pregnancy there is preparation. You are given roughly 9 months to prepare for a beautiful baby and with modern technology you know what sex the baby will be, the expected due date and relative size. There are a lot of things you can prepare for when you are pregnant.
After 5 years Lexi and I knew we wanted more kids but were never blessed to have anymore naturally. We contemplated adoption agencies but really did not want to go that route due to several factors. We decided on the foster care system or DFCS and knew the limitations and expectations of children within this system. We began our journey officially in March of 2012. Over the next 9 months there was again lots of preparation. We had to take impact training, fill out exhaustive paperwork, have strangers come and review the worthiness of our home and wait... lots of waiting and still more waiting. It's funny to me to hear people say working with DFCS and foster kids is admirable. I don't think its admirable I think it's necessary. It's a means to an end. The expectations I went into the system with were definately changed by the end of our 9 month trek.
I suppose I thought we would go into the system and it would be similar to a animal shelter where you can pick and choose out of these thousands of kids the 'right' kids for your family. Now I will say that DFCS does try to 'match' kids with homes I believe now that kids are placed in homes more out of willingness to accept and ability to accept rather than the altruistic idea that they are a perfect match for the family. I never realized that there were so many sibling groups that come into care and DFCS has the arduous task of trying to keep them together. As anxious as the process was for us, the parents, I could not imagine having to deal with all of the kids, families and bureaucracy that you have to endure and walk a tightrope while trying to work on a shoestring budget that is depleted more and more each year. Children in the foster care system truly are at the discretion of the politicians in the 'Gold Dome'. I now understand how children in foster care are treated like second rate citizens and more as property to be shuffled around rather than children to be nurtured.
We finished our training and home evaluations in July and by September our home was 'open' for placement. What's interesting is that prior to our getting through the system there were numerous children available but when we became available we were very dismayed at the lack of children. So we waited... and waited... and waited and weeks turned into months. By November we decided to open our 'search' a little wider and become foster parents for children that 'could' turn into adoptions at some future date with the understanding that they may be in our home for a while but while here we would give him/her the love and care needed.
We were called about a couple of kids but it didn't seem 'right' so we waited. On December 13th we accepted a sibling group of two girls into our home. There was a set of sisters that needed a placement in our area and would we be interested. After talking and praying about it we decided to accept them. Now with a pregnancy you can anticipate quite a few things. Two for the price of one wasn't anticipated so we had to scurry about quickly and prepare for a double blessing.
When they arrived we were overjoyed. They immediately took to us and we did the same to them. Claudia loved having two little sisters to play with and we enjoyed having them too. It was quite different having two in diapers. Although they were not infants quite a bit of their behavior was infant-like and we could immediately tell the parenting style we had with Claudia as a baby would be different for these two and actually each of them has to have various different behavioral differences depending on the child and incident.
Now I will say going from 1 to 3 overnight was quite a challenge but it has been a great roller coaster ride. It's been 3 months and we are doing great. The girls are settling into a routine. All family members that have met them have fallen in love with them just like us. Its hard at time to think about our lives without them. They fit like puzzle pieces into our family and it's as if we had missing pieces and didn't realize it. We are back to watching 'Sprout and NickJR and tons of Disney Junior'. We have weathered several ear infections as well as a Tonsillectomy, Adeniodectomy, and Tubes in the ears. We are dealing with behavior issues at daycare and at home as they arise and have had more visits to the walk-in clinic than we ever did in the previous several years, but we are making it.
It's funny to me when you tell people you have foster kids and you immediately get the 'stars in your crown' looks and comments. I didn't go into foster care trying to save a child/ren. We went to this journey wanting to share our love with a child/ren and that's what we have done. If the girls are given back to their natural family we will try to stay in contact but know that God has a plan and for however long He chooses to leave them in our care they will be loved and told that they have value and are loved. I love saying night prayers and watch them put their little hands together to pray. They don't understand a lot of things. They don't know why they aren't living with their biological mother or why she doesn't call or see them often but one thing they do know is that their Mom and Dad love them and will do anything we can for them. Our 'pregnancy' wasn't natural but it has definately been a birthing process. We can't wait to see what the next few years holds. We just hope that our 'littles' are with us through them...
jamie
After 5 years Lexi and I knew we wanted more kids but were never blessed to have anymore naturally. We contemplated adoption agencies but really did not want to go that route due to several factors. We decided on the foster care system or DFCS and knew the limitations and expectations of children within this system. We began our journey officially in March of 2012. Over the next 9 months there was again lots of preparation. We had to take impact training, fill out exhaustive paperwork, have strangers come and review the worthiness of our home and wait... lots of waiting and still more waiting. It's funny to me to hear people say working with DFCS and foster kids is admirable. I don't think its admirable I think it's necessary. It's a means to an end. The expectations I went into the system with were definately changed by the end of our 9 month trek.
I suppose I thought we would go into the system and it would be similar to a animal shelter where you can pick and choose out of these thousands of kids the 'right' kids for your family. Now I will say that DFCS does try to 'match' kids with homes I believe now that kids are placed in homes more out of willingness to accept and ability to accept rather than the altruistic idea that they are a perfect match for the family. I never realized that there were so many sibling groups that come into care and DFCS has the arduous task of trying to keep them together. As anxious as the process was for us, the parents, I could not imagine having to deal with all of the kids, families and bureaucracy that you have to endure and walk a tightrope while trying to work on a shoestring budget that is depleted more and more each year. Children in the foster care system truly are at the discretion of the politicians in the 'Gold Dome'. I now understand how children in foster care are treated like second rate citizens and more as property to be shuffled around rather than children to be nurtured.
We finished our training and home evaluations in July and by September our home was 'open' for placement. What's interesting is that prior to our getting through the system there were numerous children available but when we became available we were very dismayed at the lack of children. So we waited... and waited... and waited and weeks turned into months. By November we decided to open our 'search' a little wider and become foster parents for children that 'could' turn into adoptions at some future date with the understanding that they may be in our home for a while but while here we would give him/her the love and care needed.
We were called about a couple of kids but it didn't seem 'right' so we waited. On December 13th we accepted a sibling group of two girls into our home. There was a set of sisters that needed a placement in our area and would we be interested. After talking and praying about it we decided to accept them. Now with a pregnancy you can anticipate quite a few things. Two for the price of one wasn't anticipated so we had to scurry about quickly and prepare for a double blessing.
When they arrived we were overjoyed. They immediately took to us and we did the same to them. Claudia loved having two little sisters to play with and we enjoyed having them too. It was quite different having two in diapers. Although they were not infants quite a bit of their behavior was infant-like and we could immediately tell the parenting style we had with Claudia as a baby would be different for these two and actually each of them has to have various different behavioral differences depending on the child and incident.
Now I will say going from 1 to 3 overnight was quite a challenge but it has been a great roller coaster ride. It's been 3 months and we are doing great. The girls are settling into a routine. All family members that have met them have fallen in love with them just like us. Its hard at time to think about our lives without them. They fit like puzzle pieces into our family and it's as if we had missing pieces and didn't realize it. We are back to watching 'Sprout and NickJR and tons of Disney Junior'. We have weathered several ear infections as well as a Tonsillectomy, Adeniodectomy, and Tubes in the ears. We are dealing with behavior issues at daycare and at home as they arise and have had more visits to the walk-in clinic than we ever did in the previous several years, but we are making it.
It's funny to me when you tell people you have foster kids and you immediately get the 'stars in your crown' looks and comments. I didn't go into foster care trying to save a child/ren. We went to this journey wanting to share our love with a child/ren and that's what we have done. If the girls are given back to their natural family we will try to stay in contact but know that God has a plan and for however long He chooses to leave them in our care they will be loved and told that they have value and are loved. I love saying night prayers and watch them put their little hands together to pray. They don't understand a lot of things. They don't know why they aren't living with their biological mother or why she doesn't call or see them often but one thing they do know is that their Mom and Dad love them and will do anything we can for them. Our 'pregnancy' wasn't natural but it has definately been a birthing process. We can't wait to see what the next few years holds. We just hope that our 'littles' are with us through them...
jamie
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