Big Sister Claudia

We always knew going into the adoption process would be difficult. We knew as parents it would be hard going from one child to three and we knew there would be adjustment issues for our only child of 5 years to now be a big sister to two other girls. Claudia met the challenge like a champ and has adjusted well.

Now to say the adjustment period for parents and for big sister has been rough would be grossly underestimating the full effect. There have been many tears on the part of everyone at various times over various issues. As parents there were tears over attachment issues and behavioral issues related to coming into a new home with a new mom and dad and a new big sister. I am sure for the two 'littles' there have been many issues related to their introduction into the DFCS world and then being placed into two foster homes. We were the second placement for them and are planning for it to be their last. Finally there have been tears from Claudia related, of course, from having to 'share' mom and dad and 'share' things, as well as other issues.

Claudia has always had such a mild demeanor and a  humbleness about her. She is easily hurt by words and at times doesn't stand up for herself. Her compassion and love for people are a mirror reflection of her mom. Claudia cares for animals and people a lot. A new characteristic that she now possesses is protector.

Yesterday while at daycare another child that Claudia plays with, and with whom Claudia has had some nasty interactions with previously, made some very ugly remarks related to Claudia's little sisters. She was quick to defend and dispel these statements. The little girl made a reference that the girls were going to forget Claudia when they were older and that they would go find their other mom and leave us. In true 'Lexi' style Claudia dispelled these ideas and was very supportive and protective of her little sisters. The comments were so bad that the teachers contacted the little girls mom as well as told Lexi about the incident.

At home, Lexi and I talked with Claudia and told her how very proud we were of how she handled herself and that many times when kids are going through rough things themselves it's easy to lash out at someone. The little girl who made the mean comments doesn't have stability at home, and even though we don't know all the details, we are told there are many issues there.

It really warmed our hearts to know that values and behaviors that we have taught Claudia since birth helped her deal with this very bad situation in a very good way. I don't know how the little girl will respond in the coming days and we have talked to Claudia and told her to walk away from her if she starts saying things that are nasty again. We may not be with Claudia every hour of every day but we pray often that God keeps her safe each day.

Children truly are a reflection of what they are taught both by telling them and indirectly by them watching our behavior. I'm glad Claudia chose to behave in a way that honors our family. She is such an amazing big sister. Our two 'littles' will be in good hands with Claudia by their side!

jamie

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