The Domesticated Male

 Several years ago I started having some back issues. Fast forward to 2023 and I was losing all sense of where my legs were and all feeling in my legs as well. After several years with local doctors and several non-surgical options (i.e. steroids, injections, shots, etc.) and for the most part being told that losing weight would be the wonder cure or my back issues I chose to go to a different doctor in Atlanta. After several MRIs, nerve conduction study and discussions with doctors I was told that I definitely needed lumbar surgery (L2-S1) and that more than likely I would need fusion. After another MRI on the upper spine I was also told that I needed Cervical (C5-C6) and Thoracic (T2-T3) surgery. Initially I was told that surgery would be almost outpatient in that I would have surgery on one day and I would be released within two days. Surgeries were scheduled and we were on our way. When I arrived for the first surgery which was on the Cervical and Thoracic Spine It lasted longe...

 A black man, white man, Hispanic man and Asian man walk into a church…. Sounds like the start of an interesting joke. I didn’t say good joke but interesting. As a white male I have been struggling over the last few months. It’s hard to know exactly what to say to my black or Hispanic brothers and sisters given the climate that we now live. It’s hard for me as a white man to understand or comprehend the otherness that other racial groups feel when approached by police. It’s easy to make comments that ‘if they have done nothing wrong then they have nothing to fear!’ Coming from my worldview I have no frame of reference to fear others in authority, i.e. police or law enforcement. I didn’t live through jim crow. I am not an undocumented person cringing when I hear the acronym I.C.E. The idea that I have not had these life experiences and have no way of ever understanding fully the plight of the minority ways heavy at times. I care deeply for many in the minority. It hurts me when ...

As I close out 2018 and look forward to 2019 I can't help but feel an overwhelming amount of thankfulness and end this year with a single word: Blessed. The year did not start with a feeling of thankfulness and honestly blessed was the not part of my January. In fact I started this year with a mixed bag of emotions and most of them not very pleasant. I began this year with a lot of feelings of hurt and pain. I was about to embark on the biggest change of my life. I quit my job in HR as of February and went to work for my wife in March as the Operations Manager of her quickly growing business, Wholistic Therapeutic Services. I had worked in HR for over 17 years and had honestly thought that would be where I retired but circumstances dictated that I had to make some changes and with a huge push Lexi and I felt it was the right time for a very big change in my career. 2018 saw her business grow from a 2 person office to ending in December with a 6 person office and a change of a...

I’m about to start a new chapter. A new adventure. There will be mountains to scale and rivers to cross. It’s going to be epic. What’s even more exciting is the pages are blank. It’s up to me to write a comedy, drama, self-help, or tragedy. I get to decide how the story will develop. I tendered by resignation at my current job. Many might think I have lost my mind. I have a stable job with great benefits. Why not ride it out until retirement? I could do that easily. I could lay back in comfortable complacency and traverse the next 15 years with little to no professional struggle. That sounds like a pretty good place to be doesn’t it! I can’t be satisfied with that life. I’m at a pivotal moment in my life and career. I have come to a crossroad and I can choose to maintain the smooth sailing I’m on or I can choose adventure. As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated I want to ‘...leave a trail’ rather than ‘follow a path...’. My wife started her business one year ago and it has grown e...

I have always held a healthy level of skepticism. I know I don't have a long lost Ethiopian uncle ready to wire a million dollars into my bank account. Money unfortunately does not grow on trees. About five years ago, Lexi was tired of being her doctor's guinea pig for any new drug that came out so she decided to try using a more holistic approach to her health and began using essential oils. At first my skepticism was through the roof. In my opinion, it was all in her head that these oils made her feel better. Other than the great smell when she diffused them... I wasn't convinced. After a few months, I decided to try it for myself. I had always had digestion issues and eating Prilosec daily was my routine. We had bought an oil blend called Digize from Young Living and after much prodding from Lexi I gave in. I was willing to try it if it would curb my constant nausea and sour stomach . I was amazed! In just a little while I felt much better. It became what I reached...

Having children is a disruptive adventure! Parents expect their children to be mini-adults and to automatically know how to behave and do ‘things’. At least that has been my interpretation. I catch myself in that same vein at times and thank goodness I have a way that brings me back to reality and reminds me that this IS their first ‘rodeo’. They haven’t been here over 40 years and are learning the ‘how’ and ‘why’ and often the ‘what’ of appropriate behavior. Three children has been super fun and super exhausting. I applaud anyone who has more than one child. I have found that having more than one has been quite an act in discernment. The blame is always given to someone else and the times a child accepts blame you secretly want to tell them... ‘honey that was not something to be proud of and you should have blamed your sister!’ But instead you cheer their honesty and try to acknowledge that it is great to own your own behavior. To say having a child with special needs is tiring w...

As I sit in my recliner with 15 minutes left in 2015 I can't help but feel very content. This was a year of very important events in the life of my family. Here is a short list of my most memorable thoughts. We began 2015 with a bulging 3 bedroom apartment. We were on our way to adopting Brittany and Maddie Brooke and our apartment was getting smaller with each passing month. Unfortunately when we moved to Tifton the housing market was not very robust and it didn't seem to get any better. We began refinancing our home in Valdosta around March and started thinking seriously about building. As we completed the refinance of the Valdosta property in April we began discussing building a new home here in Tifton with Lindsey Framing. They were developing three neighborhoods in Tifton and we were very impressed with their homes and their attention to detail. The home prices were also well within our budget so we started this new adventure in May. Once the home build started we also...

It's been quite a while since I last blogged. It's not that I haven't had quite a bit to talk about. It's not that I haven't wanted to share. Busy doesn't seem to be the appropriate word for the long delay either. Since I can't adequately explain my hiatus I will just begin again.... I have much to be thankful for this year. I have a new car. We were able to refinance our previous home. We completed our adoption of Brittany and Maddie Brooke. We are almost finished building our dream home. Life has been great in 2015 and as we near the end of this year my heart is full of blessings. None of these items have occurred in a vacuum or in singularity. Most of this has occurred in conjunction with each other and various normal life happenings. You could say that my family has been on a bit of a roller coaster this year. There have been moments when Lexi and I have had to stop for a 'breather' and there have been moments where our sanity and senility ...

Mother: a poem by: Jamie Tanner (Dedicated to my mom, grandmothers and my beautiful wife and all the wonderful moms in my life. I honor you.) Often the last to bed and at times the first to rise. A day full of worry, as each school drop rolls on by. Whether home or at work the day is ripe with chores. Making sure the family's needs are met with grace and charm. Her selfless acts are often done with no acknowledgement. Knowing things are finished,  all the thanks she often gets. She cares more for others, ensuring they have their wants as well as needs. She swells with pride when her children use ma'am and often please. She's a nurse for bumps and bruises. She's the biggest cheerleader for her team. She's everything that's needed when her kids come running. She's an adviser for all occasions, whether financial or personally. She's the one most of us run to when life is troubling. Mom is her title, but that thre...

Lexi and I always wanted more than one child. When we found out we were pregnant with Claudia it was exciting, scary, overwhelming and all the other emotions you can imagine a relatively young couple would have when having a child. Fast-forward four years and we again started having the excitement over thinking about another baby. After many failed pregnancy tests and much discouragement and disappointment we decided that maybe we were not meant to have another child naturally but that there were lots of children who needed homes and adoption was our next option. We went through training and consultation with DFCS and decided ultimately that we would become a Foster home with the hopes of eventually adopting a child(ren) that were placed in our home. We were aware that most of these children come into care with a lot of emotional, mental, physical and historical baggage. With the background that Lexi and I had we were sure we could overcome whatever obstacle we encountered. There ...

May 2012, I was asked to apply for a new position as  HR Director. I had been very happy in the job I had but a new opportunity seemed promising. I talked with my wife, family, pastor and after much thought and prayer decided to apply. October 2012, I started in the new position. A few weeks into the new job it was apparent that commuting from our home in Valdosta was not going to be good for our family and so we decided to start looking in the Tifton area for a home. We soon realized that the housing market was not the best and chose to go to an apartment. My wife and I had not lived in an apartment since we were both in graduate school. Knowing that we needed to move made this choice for us. February, 2013, my family and I moved from Valdosta to Tifton. I moved to Valdosta when I began Graduate School. I lived there through many milestones of life. I was married there. I became a father there. I also found who I was in Christ and developed a relationship with Him. I didn't go to ...

My family and I had a family movie night last Sunday evening. We went to see Disney's  'Cinderella'. Since I have three girls I anticipate many ventures that involve princess movies and popcorn in my future. I was pleasantly surprised that I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It was refreshing to watch a movie without the requisite language issues, necessary nudity, or expansive technological special effects. It was just a great all around movie with a great storyline and pretty decent acting. At the end as we were about to exit the movie I had a great feeling of 'wowness'! What a great movie that I could feel great about bringing my children to see. The message of the movie also was one of morals and values that aligned with our family: Courage, Kindness and ultimately forgiveness. What is great now that I am thinking back to the movie is that there was loss and hard work. Ella had to endure quite a bit of tragedy and difficulty before she reached her ballroom m...

http://oscar.go.com/ I have always had such an infatuation with movies. I can get lost for two hours in some science fiction future or some  period of the past. I can ride with Ms. Daisy and I can cry with Mr. Schindler. Whoopi and I have an annual date where I watch Shug whisk her away from Mister. There are movie after movie that I can recall and each has such an endearing quality in my mind. My wife, on more than one occasion, has told me that date night does not always have to include a movie. In my world it does! I can appreciate that she wants variety so I try to break out of my comfort zone and do other things but my heart will always belong to the theatre and if I am especially lucky there is a musical playing either on the big screen or off-broadway. Yes ... theatre is a second home for me. One of my favorite things each Christmas break is to take a day and see several movies. I can binge on 2-4 movies in a row and be quite happy. That may sound strange to some but...

We always knew going into the adoption process would be difficult. We knew as parents it would be hard going from one child to three and we knew there would be adjustment issues for our only child of 5 years to now be a big sister to two other girls. Claudia met the challenge like a champ and has adjusted well. Now to say the adjustment period for parents and for big sister has been rough would be grossly underestimating the full effect. There have been many tears on the part of everyone at various times over various issues. As parents there were tears over attachment issues and behavioral issues related to coming into a new home with a new mom and dad and a new big sister. I am sure for the two 'littles' there have been many issues related to their introduction into the DFCS world and then being placed into two foster homes. We were the second placement for them and are planning for it to be their last. Finally there have been tears from Claudia related, of course, from havi...

I created this new shake with several superfoods. It taste good but I don't think I would put all of these ingredients into another shake unless I am needing extreme energy and want to see just how healthy a shake I can create. I think I achieved that goal here... Directions: Blend the following: Kale, Spinach, Coconut Water, Water (1 cup), Flax Seeds, Chia Seeds, Goji Berries , Mulberry Berries and the Vega One Nutritional Shake Mix . Then add the following: Kiwi, Mango, Oranges, Strawberries , Watermelon and Agave. Blend and then add two cups of ice and blend again and serve. All ingredients not highlighted are in the last smoothie recipe with links. Enjoy. jamie

I really like pop music and top 40. Unlike many people I listen to the lyrics of songs and that can be distressing when I know kids are repeating the words. Most kids don't pay attention to the words. They like the music and the beat and how catchy it is. As I was listening to the top hits today I heard a song by Usher called 'I Don't Mind'. Here are the lyrics: Shawty, I don’t mind If you dance on a pole That don’t make you a ho Shawty, I don’t mind when you work until three If you’re leaving with me Go make that money, money, money Your money, money, money Cause I know how it is, go and handle your biz And get that money, money, money Your money, money, money You can take off your clothes Long as you coming home, girl, I don’t mind Verse 1: The ballers in here tonight, they gon’ buy a hundred bottles As soon as you shake it I know they gon’ make it colossal in here Cause shawty you thinkin’ them tricks that you do with your body Got all of these nig...

Many friends have asked about my smoothie recipes and their content. I will begin posting my recipes on here along with the pics. I never thought I could drink the 'green' smoothies. They look disgusting and in my mind they had to taste terrible if they looked that bad. I could not have been more ill-informed. Over the Christmas break my sister-in-law noted their great health benefits and that the taste was good regardless of the color. My wife then began discussing buying a blender and as we looked at prices we found a very good Ninja Blender for a super great price and thus my blending began. I will say that most of my first recipes came from a website: http://www.simplegreensmoothies.com/. You can sign up for a 30 day challenge and they send you new recipes each Thursday. I have only utilized a couple of the recipes but they all sound great. With the help of this website and in discussion with my sister-in-law and others I have crafted my own smoothie recipes. Since carb...